Bedtime Stories

Ellie Mae

Ellie Mae

on June 27, 2017, 9:22 AM / in Bedtime Stories, People

Special Thanks to Judy by Sean Dietrich  /  Sean of the South There is something sleeping on my feet while I write this. A she-something. Her snoring sounds like a diesel engine. She has paws bigger than skillets, a bladder the size of a teacup. Every morning, at approximately 5:13 A.M., she wakes me. And every morning, I walk the […]

Read more ›
Writing Things Down

Writing Things Down

on June 22, 2017, 9:17 AM / in Bedtime Stories

H/T to Thomas Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember .. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair ‘Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?’ he […]

Read more ›
Fishing on Fridays

Fishing on Fridays

on June 16, 2017, 6:13 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Special Thanks to Bill All – you fishermen can understand this. After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.  When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, […]

Read more ›

Interesting Facts and Good Friends

on June 13, 2017, 8:39 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Thanks to Thomas In more than half of all states in the United States of America, the highest paid public employee in the state is a football coach. Almost half of all Americans (47 percent) do not put a single penny out of their paychecks into savings. Apple has more cash than the U.S. Treasury. The state of Alaska is […]

Read more ›
INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS

INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS

on June 11, 2017, 7:26 AM / in Bedtime Stories

From Thomas One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and […]

Read more ›
Kittens (political)

Kittens (political)

on June 9, 2017, 8:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious he runs over to the child and says, “What’s in the box kid?” to which the little boy says, “Kittens, they’re brand new kittens.” Al Gore laughs and says, “What kind of kittens are they?” “Democrats,” the child says.”Oh that’s cute,” Al […]

Read more ›
Buried with a Fork

Buried with a Fork

on June 6, 2017, 8:37 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Special Thanks to Thomas When Mrs. Smith was diagnosed with terminal cancer, the doctors gave her three months to live. Being the amazing person that she was, Mrs. Smith started putting her affairs “in order”, and contacted her pastor, Rev. Phillip, to convey her final wishes. She told the pastor what songs should be sung at the service, what scriptures […]

Read more ›
Michael

Michael

on June 4, 2017, 6:13 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Right before the jetway door closed, I scrambled aboard the plane going from LA to Chicago, lugging my laptop and overstuffed briefcase. It was the first leg of an important business trip a few weeks before Christmas, and I was running late. I had a ton of work to catch up on. Half wishing, half praying I muttered, “Please God, […]

Read more ›

Safety First

on May 30, 2017, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

I took down my Rebel Flag (which you CAN’T buy on EBAY any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off my front window.  I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the silly Neighborhood Watch troop. I bought two Pakistani Flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchased the Black Flag of ISIS (which you CAN […]

Read more ›
HELL EXPLAINED BY ANOTHER UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA CHEMISTRY STUDENT

HELL EXPLAINED BY ANOTHER UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA CHEMISTRY STUDENT

on May 28, 2017, 7:45 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Special thanks to Thomas for this piece of humor My friends son attends the U of A and sent me this note…… The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by this student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, […]

Read more ›
Off Course, Keep Looking

Off Course, Keep Looking

on May 20, 2017, 6:56 AM / in Bedtime Stories
Read more ›
MOMS

MOMS

on May 14, 2017, 8:35 AM / in Bedtime Stories

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.” The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who had been a widow for […]

Read more ›
Oh, the Irish!

Oh, the Irish!

on May 13, 2017, 8:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

H/T to Thomas I was at the pub the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar. Their accent appeared to be Gaelic, so I approached and asked, “Hello, are you three lassies from Ireland?” One of them angrily screeched, “It’s Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!” So I apologized and replied, “I am so sorry. Are […]

Read more ›
The Castaway

The Castaway

on May 12, 2017, 9:36 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Special thanks to Thomas One day a Scotsman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. “It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, […]

Read more ›
I’M SORRY I BROUGHT IT UP

I’M SORRY I BROUGHT IT UP

on May 10, 2017, 9:58 AM / in Bedtime Stories

By Pat Shannan  /  A Nation Beguiled North Korean Humor… Kim Jung Un had NO military experience whatsoever before Daddy made him a four-star general. This snot-nosed twerp had never accomplished anything in his life that would even come close to military leadership. He hadn’t even so much as led a Cub Scout troop, coached a sports team, or commanded a […]

Read more ›
Remember Slow Food?

Remember Slow Food?

on May 10, 2017, 9:28 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Special Thanks to Thomas ‘Someone asked the other day, ‘What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?’ ‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up, I informed him. ‘All the food was slow.’ ‘C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’ ‘It was a place called ‘at Home,” I explained ! ‘Mom cooked every day and when […]

Read more ›
A Curious Mom

A Curious Mom

on May 3, 2017, 8:02 AM / in Bedtime Stories

John invited his mother over for dinner one evening. During the meal, she couldn’t help but notice how attractive his roommate Judy was. She had been suspicious of a relationship between her son and his roommate for quite some time, but this only made her more curious. She watched the two of them interact over the course of the evening […]

Read more ›
OK What is the Answer?

OK What is the Answer?

on May 2, 2017, 8:02 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Question for the IRS Special thanks to Thomas ‘Many years ago, I married a widow out of love who had an 18-year-old daughter. After the wedding, my father came to visit a number of times, and suddenly he fell in love with my step-daughter. My father eventually married her without my authorization. As a result, my step-daughter legally became my […]

Read more ›
President Schumer agrees to bill funding Obamacare, abortionists, but no wall

President Schumer agrees to bill funding Obamacare, abortionists, but no wall

on May 1, 2017, 7:31 AM / in Bedtime Stories, Opinion

What the Dem’s would love to happen….. By Ed Straker The President and Congress agreed to a spending bill to get the government through to September. (Wish To Be)President Chuck Schumer said: “This agreement is a good agreement for the American people and takes the threat of a government shutdown off the table,” said… Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.). “The bill […]

Read more ›
Something that should endear the Business World

Something that should endear the Business World

on May 1, 2017, 6:42 AM / in Bedtime Stories
Read more ›