Bedtime Stories

Nation Demands More Slow-Motion Footage Of Running Basset Hounds

on March 21, 2020, 6:53 AM / in Bedtime Stories

WASHINGTON / The Onion Insisting that the dogs be filmed not only more frequently but also in the most adorable manner possible, the American populace on Friday demanded more slow-motion footage of running basset hounds. “We’re calling for a dramatic increase in the number of slo-mo videos featuring droopy basset hounds racing toward the camera,” said Montana resident Peter Tomsett, […]

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A Ref’s Toughest Call

on March 13, 2020, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories, History

Good morning, it’s March 13, 2020. Eighty-five years ago today, Nicholas and Helen Oprian, first-generation Romanian immigrants living in San Francisco, welcomed their only child into the world. They named her Virginia, a nice American name. She was my mother. Mom has been gone these past four years, and I’ve written about her before, so here we are at the […]

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The Ballad of Frank McMeen

on March 10, 2020, 9:06 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Got to Love it…..

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Nothing But Fear Itself

Nothing But Fear Itself

on March 3, 2020, 7:44 AM / in Bedtime Stories

A.F. BRANCO

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Imagine

Imagine

on March 1, 2020, 7:40 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Thoughts to live by…..

on February 25, 2020, 8:32 AM / in Bedtime Stories, People, Religion

Author unknown Tips My Grandmother Gave Me My beloved grandmother, may she rest in peace, used to carry an old notebook with her wherever she went. She would fill it with beautiful thoughts and advice she got from wise people. Throughout my childhood, I would see her writing things down in that little notebook. I always thought they were her […]

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How to be a Farmer

How to be a Farmer

on February 20, 2020, 9:37 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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DADDY’S TRICK

DADDY’S TRICK

on February 20, 2020, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you, Grandma. Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.” The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that, dear?” she asked. The little boy replied, “I heard Daddy tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to […]

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Old joke bout Tyrone

Old joke bout Tyrone

on February 17, 2020, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Tyrone was having trouble in school; his teacher was always yelling at him, “You’re driving me crazy, Tyrone; can’t you learn anything?” One day Tyrone’s mother came to school to see how he was doing. The teacher told her honestly that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never had such an unmotivated […]

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“TO BE DETERMINED”

“TO BE DETERMINED”

on February 16, 2020, 7:19 AM / in Bedtime Stories

by OPOVV, ©2020 (Feb. 14, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to a special edition of ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ where we’re broadcasting from the Track & Field Athletic Center here at the university. What is happening is that there’s a track meet and there seems to be some discussion about a male wanting to compete in some female competition. And […]

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Last Wish

Last Wish

on February 16, 2020, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Good Morning to All An old priest lay dying in a Hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. “Yes, Father?” said the nurse. “I would really like to see Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi before I die”, whispered the priest. “I’ll see what I can do, […]

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Any questions?

Any questions?

on February 15, 2020, 10:11 AM / in Bedtime Stories

God was missing for six days. Eventually. Michael, the archangel found him resting on the seventh day. He inquired, “Where have you been?” God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look Michael. Look at what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?” “It’s a planet,” replied God, and I’ve put life on it. […]

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The Fit…..

The Fit…..

on February 5, 2020, 8:04 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Too funny to pass

Too funny to pass

on February 4, 2020, 9:44 AM / in Bedtime Stories

My friend Don sent these to me.  They are too good not to share, and they aren’t that far from the truth where it comes to all Liberals in general. Carl F. Worden Single   handily replacing blonde jokes:

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Wasting Days….

Wasting Days….

on February 3, 2020, 8:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

AF Branco

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Modern Art

Modern Art

on January 28, 2020, 9:09 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Sent me by a wise woman:

Sent me by a wise woman:

on January 27, 2020, 9:05 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Maybe: A WISE MAN TWICE SAID: 1. IF MY BODY IS EVER FOUND ON A JOGGING TRAIL, JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MURDERED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DUMPED THERE. 2. RESPECT YOUR ELDERS.  THEY GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL WITHOUT THE INTERNET. 3. I’VE DECIDED I’M NOT OLD.  I’M 25 — PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING. 4. WHY DO I HAVE TO PRESS “1” FOR […]

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The PlayBook

The PlayBook

on January 21, 2020, 8:06 AM / in Bedtime Stories

By AF Branco

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Quote for Today January 14th

Quote for Today January 14th

on January 14, 2020, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories, People

“God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for scars” Elbert Hubbard Elbert Green Hubbard (June 19, 1856 – May 7, 1915) was an American writer, publisher, artist, and philosopher. Raised in Hudson, Illinois, he met early success as a traveling salesman with the Larkin soap company. Today Hubbard is mostly known as the founder of […]

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I WAS THINKING…

on January 2, 2020, 6:33 AM / in Bedtime Stories

http://conpats.blogspot.com/2019/12/i-was-thinking.html I WAS THINKING… Submitted by: Edward Moore I was thinking; If Donald Trump deleted all of his emails, wiped his server with Bleachbit and destroyed all of his phones with a hammer, would the Mainstream Media suddenly lose all interest in the story and declare him innocent? I was thinking; If women do the same job for less money, […]

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