Bedtime Stories

The Meter

The Meter

on October 23, 2017, 8:14 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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About nuts, me presumeth

About nuts, me presumeth

on October 23, 2017, 7:53 AM / in Bedtime Stories

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels.  After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will. At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery.  The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on […]

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First Women’s Only Parking Lot

First Women’s Only Parking Lot

on October 23, 2017, 7:20 AM / in Bedtime Stories

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis City Council has established a “Women Only” parking lot at the Mall of America. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons. Below is the first picture available of this world-first […]

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Only Day of Employment After Retirement..

Only Day of Employment After Retirement..

on October 20, 2017, 7:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

I retired from my long successful career, but became bored. I decided to accept a low-paid but stress-free job as a greeter at the local home improvement store. After landing my new job as a greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day . Here is my story… About two hours into my first day […]

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The judgmental Nun…

The judgmental Nun…

on October 18, 2017, 9:37 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Editor’s Note: If you have a Catholic upbringing, don’t be offended, we all know we drink A man was in New York on a business trip and decided to head to a bar for a drink. Standing outside the bar was a nun holding a tin cup. As the man threw a few bucks into her cup the nun launched […]

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How Scouting Has Been Altered …..

How Scouting Has Been Altered …..

on October 17, 2017, 8:54 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Humor by Henry Payne

Humor by Henry Payne

on October 14, 2017, 8:55 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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I’m older and use a lot of 4 letter words

I’m older and use a lot of 4 letter words

on October 14, 2017, 8:43 AM / in Bedtime Stories

I’m older and I use a lot of 4 letter words: What, When ~Your kids are becoming you……but your grandchildren are perfect! ~Going out is good.. Coming home is better! ~You forget names…. But it’s OK because some people forgot they even knew you!!! ~You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything like golf. ~The things you […]

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Spiders

Spiders

on October 13, 2017, 10:56 PM / in Bedtime Stories

If you are offended by vulgarity, we apologize before hand. If you offended by the story, get over it. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the […]

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Kankune and the snow storms

Kankune and the snow storms

on October 12, 2017, 8:38 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Kankune sat at the breakfast table with her husband,listening to the news. Then”Breaking News”was announced: “A blizzard will hit our city in the next 10 hours.We expect 8 to 10 inches of snow. Please park your car on the left hand side of the street,so our snow plows can clear lanes for traffic” Kan immediately rushed out and parked her car […]

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Einstein giving a speech…

Einstein giving a speech…

on October 10, 2017, 7:19 AM / in Bedtime Stories

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speech-making. “I have an idea, boss,” […]

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Never Let A Serious Crisis Go To Waste…..

Never Let A Serious Crisis Go To Waste…..

on October 6, 2017, 11:06 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Disorder in the Court

Disorder in the Court

on October 6, 2017, 8:15 AM / in Bedtime Stories

These are from a book called “Disorder in the Court” and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. Reading can be a dangerous thing…… ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: […]

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Some Acts of Government remind me of Einstein’s Theory of Infinite Things

Some Acts of Government remind me of Einstein’s Theory of Infinite Things

on October 4, 2017, 7:34 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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A Better Job

A Better Job

on October 3, 2017, 7:36 AM / in Bedtime Stories

BadBobby’s granddaughter is sitting on the couch with him and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. She touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the girl asks, “Grandpa, did God make you?” “He sure did honey, a long time ago,” replies her grandpa. “Well, did […]

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Southern Baptist Convention to Change Its Name to Southern Poverty Baptist Convention

Southern Baptist Convention to Change Its Name to Southern Poverty Baptist Convention

on October 2, 2017, 7:17 AM / in Bedtime Stories

by Glastonbury  /  Faith & Heritage NASHVILLE (AP) – In what they’re calling a “bold, historic” move, three Southern Baptist Convention leaders announced today that the denomination is changing its name to the Southern Poverty Baptist Convention.  At a press conference, Rev. Albert Mohler, head of the denomination’s flagship seminary, Rev. Russell Moore, president of the church’s Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, […]

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Good and Bad News

Good and Bad News

on October 1, 2017, 9:16 AM / in Bedtime Stories

“I have good news and bad news,” a defense attorney told his client who has been on trial without bail, “Which one would you like to hear first?” “Give me the bad news first, I guess,” said the client. “The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with the sample found on the victim’s dress,” replied […]

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OLD PERSON PRIDE

OLD PERSON PRIDE

on September 30, 2017, 6:48 AM / in Bedtime Stories, Opinion

Don G. Dinsdale …Old People are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the National Anthem. Old People remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.They don’t kneel or sit on a bench in protest like the NFL football players. ….Old People remember World War II, […]

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Did They See Us Coming?

Did They See Us Coming?

on September 26, 2017, 7:20 AM / in Bedtime Stories, Food

My son turned 21 last week, so we offered to take him and his girlfriend out to their restaurant of choice. They selected a trendy new place that advertised comfort food. As a family we ordered three variations of mac and cheese, two tea cup size bowls of soup, a sandwich made with one portobello mushoom, some fries, two milk […]

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This is AMAZING!!! 

This is AMAZING!!! 

on September 24, 2017, 7:26 AM / in Bedtime Stories

I never fully understood how to tell the difference between male and female birds. I always thought it had to be determined biologically or by medical examination by experts. Until now. Below are two birds. Study them closely. See if you can determine which of the two is the female. It CAN be done! Even by one with limited bird […]

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