Bedtime Stories

How to be a Farmer

How to be a Farmer

on February 20, 2020, 9:37 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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DADDY’S TRICK

DADDY’S TRICK

on February 20, 2020, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you, Grandma. Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.” The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that, dear?” she asked. The little boy replied, “I heard Daddy tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to […]

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Old joke bout Tyrone

Old joke bout Tyrone

on February 17, 2020, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Tyrone was having trouble in school; his teacher was always yelling at him, “You’re driving me crazy, Tyrone; can’t you learn anything?” One day Tyrone’s mother came to school to see how he was doing. The teacher told her honestly that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never had such an unmotivated […]

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“TO BE DETERMINED”

“TO BE DETERMINED”

on February 16, 2020, 7:19 AM / in Bedtime Stories

by OPOVV, ©2020 (Feb. 14, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to a special edition of ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ where we’re broadcasting from the Track & Field Athletic Center here at the university. What is happening is that there’s a track meet and there seems to be some discussion about a male wanting to compete in some female competition. And […]

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Last Wish

Last Wish

on February 16, 2020, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Good Morning to All An old priest lay dying in a Hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. “Yes, Father?” said the nurse. “I would really like to see Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi before I die”, whispered the priest. “I’ll see what I can do, […]

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Any questions?

Any questions?

on February 15, 2020, 10:11 AM / in Bedtime Stories

God was missing for six days. Eventually. Michael, the archangel found him resting on the seventh day. He inquired, “Where have you been?” God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look Michael. Look at what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?” “It’s a planet,” replied God, and I’ve put life on it. […]

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The Fit…..

The Fit…..

on February 5, 2020, 8:04 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Too funny to pass

Too funny to pass

on February 4, 2020, 9:44 AM / in Bedtime Stories

My friend Don sent these to me.  They are too good not to share, and they aren’t that far from the truth where it comes to all Liberals in general. Carl F. Worden Single   handily replacing blonde jokes:

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Wasting Days….

Wasting Days….

on February 3, 2020, 8:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

AF Branco

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Modern Art

Modern Art

on January 28, 2020, 9:09 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Sent me by a wise woman:

Sent me by a wise woman:

on January 27, 2020, 9:05 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Maybe: A WISE MAN TWICE SAID: 1. IF MY BODY IS EVER FOUND ON A JOGGING TRAIL, JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MURDERED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DUMPED THERE. 2. RESPECT YOUR ELDERS.  THEY GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL WITHOUT THE INTERNET. 3. I’VE DECIDED I’M NOT OLD.  I’M 25 — PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING. 4. WHY DO I HAVE TO PRESS “1” FOR […]

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The PlayBook

The PlayBook

on January 21, 2020, 8:06 AM / in Bedtime Stories

By AF Branco

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Quote for Today January 14th

Quote for Today January 14th

on January 14, 2020, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories, People

“God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for scars” Elbert Hubbard Elbert Green Hubbard (June 19, 1856 – May 7, 1915) was an American writer, publisher, artist, and philosopher. Raised in Hudson, Illinois, he met early success as a traveling salesman with the Larkin soap company. Today Hubbard is mostly known as the founder of […]

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I WAS THINKING…

on January 2, 2020, 6:33 AM / in Bedtime Stories

http://conpats.blogspot.com/2019/12/i-was-thinking.html I WAS THINKING… Submitted by: Edward Moore I was thinking; If Donald Trump deleted all of his emails, wiped his server with Bleachbit and destroyed all of his phones with a hammer, would the Mainstream Media suddenly lose all interest in the story and declare him innocent? I was thinking; If women do the same job for less money, […]

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SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?

on January 1, 2020, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. A shark is the only fish […]

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MICE IN THE CHURCH

MICE IN THE CHURCH

on January 1, 2020, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Three preachers were having lunch together at a diner. The first preacher said, “Ya know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with mice in my church. I’ve tried everything–noise, spray, cats–nothing seems to scare them away. The second preacher then said “Yea, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in the basement of the church. I’ve set traps and even […]

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SMILE, It could be Worse….

SMILE, It could be Worse….

on December 31, 2019, 7:29 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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“OUR COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING, A SOLDIER DIED TODAY”

“OUR COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING, A SOLDIER DIED TODAY”

on December 31, 2019, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

He was getting old and paunchy And his hair was falling fast, And he sat around the Legion, Telling stories of the past. Of a war that he once fought in And the deeds that he had done, In his exploits with his buddies; They were heroes, every one. And ‘tho sometimes to his neighbors His tales became a joke, […]

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SEVENTY EIGHT YEARS LATER!

on December 30, 2019, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

By Earl Gieseke There are days which stand out in one’s memory and in history, either because they were good, or because they were so horrible. So it was on a warm Sunday afternoon, seventy eight years ago. Most families were never the same after that most ignoble event. Most families sent one or more sons to “fight the horrible […]

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PROVERBS

on December 30, 2019, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

I live in my own little world, but it’s ok, they know me here. Sign In Pet Store: “Buy one dog, get one flea…” Money can’t buy happiness, but it does help make pure misery easier to live with. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? I don’t approve of political jokes… I’ve seen […]

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