Bedtime Stories

News Headline

News Headline

on August 10, 2017, 6:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed. A ‘friend of a friend’ put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name […]

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Advice from tech support

Advice from tech support

on August 9, 2017, 8:24 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1. Conversation […]

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Some people never get old.

Some people never get old.

on August 8, 2017, 8:58 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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How Embarrasing

How Embarrasing

on August 8, 2017, 6:54 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Biscuits

Biscuits

on August 6, 2017, 7:45 AM / in Bedtime Stories

“Lord,you know I hate buttermilk And Lord,you know I hate lard And you know I don’t care much for white flower,neither But Lord,when you mix em all up and bake em,then you have something I truly love–biscuits!! So Lord,when things come up that we don’t understand and that we don’t like. When life gets hard,we just need to relax,and maybe […]

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“Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”

“Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”

on August 4, 2017, 8:05 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…..  It’s about learning to dance in the rain Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, And every year Ken would say, ‘Edna, I’d like to ride in that helicopter’ Edna always replied, ‘I know Ken, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, And fifty bucks is […]

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Darwin Awards

Darwin Awards

on August 1, 2017, 9:20 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Thanks to Bill for this one Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the ‘Darwin Awards’ are bestowed, honoring the “least evolved” among us.   Here is the glorious winner:  1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, the would-be robber John Elliot did something that can […]

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Smile, Something good did come out of all this

Smile, Something good did come out of all this

on August 1, 2017, 8:54 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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DEFINITION OF A MARINE

DEFINITION OF A MARINE

on August 1, 2017, 8:23 AM / in Bedtime Stories

By slatten49  I tried not to leave anything out, but add-on if you choose. Respectfully, of course, all you Squids out there…especially Senior Squid BadBobby. Marines come in all sizes, weights, states of sobriety, misery, and confusion. He is shy as a fox, has the nerve of a dope addict, the stories of an old sailor, the sincerity of a liar, […]

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Insider Joke of the century

Insider Joke of the century

on August 1, 2017, 7:49 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Gumperson’s Law

Gumperson’s Law

on July 31, 2017, 9:22 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Special Thanks to George Dodson Gumperson’s Law, as explained below, accounts for the fact that you can throw a burned match out the window of your car and start a forest fire, while you can use two boxes of matches and a whole edition of the Sunday paper without being able to start a fire under the dry logs in […]

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Three democrats walk into a bar………

Three democrats walk into a bar………

on July 28, 2017, 7:35 AM / in Bedtime Stories

We are sure we are going to hear about this one…. Thank you Thomas…

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Perfectly cooked biscuits

Perfectly cooked biscuits

on July 26, 2017, 8:06 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Special Thanks to Thomas One morning, so long ago, Mama placed a plate of fried eggs and bacon and fried apples in front of all the family, and placed an extremely burned plate of biscuits in the center of the table. I remember waiting to see if Dad would notice, but all he did was reach for a biscuit, as […]

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How Things Work

How Things Work

on July 25, 2017, 8:59 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Loving Letter from Wife

Loving Letter from Wife

on July 25, 2017, 8:37 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Special Thanks to Thomas To my darling husband, Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the Ford F-150 when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn’t get hurt, so please don’t worry too much about me. I was coming home […]

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I was attacked

I was attacked

on July 22, 2017, 8:14 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Special Thanks to Thomas This morning it was NPP’s turn to make breakfast (Spanish omlette applewood bacon, blueberry muffins) so I fed the dogs and then got out the bird seed and hummingbird food and started to make the rounds. Only one hummingbird feeder was empty, out of 9, but as soon as I approached it I was attacked by […]

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We might call it humor…. but not really

We might call it humor…. but not really

on July 17, 2017, 3:57 PM / in Bedtime Stories
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An Inspiring Story

An Inspiring Story

on July 16, 2017, 6:54 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Thanks to Thomas A famous writer was in his study room. He picked up his pen and started writing : **Last year, I had a surgery and my gall bladder was removed. I had to stay stuck to the bed due to this surgery for a long time. **The same year I reached the age of 60 years and had […]

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What do you think of the News?

What do you think of the News?

on July 15, 2017, 6:05 AM / in Bedtime Stories

A short story sent to us by Byron… A little girl leans into a lion’s cage.  Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, all under the eyes of her screaming parents. A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on […]

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‘Killed’ in Vietnam and buried with comrades, this Marine returned from the dead.

‘Killed’ in Vietnam and buried with comrades, this Marine returned from the dead.

on July 11, 2017, 7:53 AM / in Bedtime Stories, History

By MICHAEL E. RUANE | The Washington Post | Published: July 8, 2017 Special Thanks to Thomas HALLETTSVILLE, Texas — Ronald Ridgeway was “killed” in Vietnam on Feb. 25, 1968. The 18-year-old Marine Corps private first class fell with a bullet to the shoulder during a savage firefight with the enemy outside Khe Sanh. Dozens of Marines, from what came […]

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