Bedtime Stories

The UNhumane Society

on January 13, 2013, 8:41 AM / in Bedtime Stories

The Saga of Bennie. I’m a New Yorker living in the middle of the Bible Belt.  Please!   Don’t ask me how I got here.  It’s a long story! Anyway so here I am, and there we go.  When I first got here, I saw this place was badly broke and needed fixin’.  It would be simpler if I could have […]

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Make Me Happy

Make Me Happy

on January 3, 2013, 10:53 AM / in Bedtime Stories, Opinion

Flying on Air Force One, Obama looked at Oprah, chuckled and said, ‘You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy. Oprah shrugged her shoulders and replied, ‘I could throw ten $100 bills Out of the window and make ten people very happy. Michelle added, ‘That being the case, I […]

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THE SENILITY PRAYER

on January 1, 2013, 11:45 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Thanks to Dee for sending this….. Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

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Harmless Green Snake

Harmless Green Snake

on January 1, 2013, 4:54 AM / in Bedtime Stories

When someone tells you a bill or tax is just a *harmless little thing* – read this post again. Thanks to Jackie Juntti for sending it in. Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing […]

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The DONATION

on December 30, 2012, 8:37 PM / in Bedtime Stories

Father O’Malley answers the phone, “Hello, is this Father O’Malley?” “It is.” “This is the IRS. Can you help us?” “I can” “Do you know a Ted Houlihan?” “I do” “Is he a member of your congregation?” “He is” “Did he donate $10,000 to the church?” “He will”.

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Happy or Holy?

Happy or Holy?

on December 29, 2012, 12:07 PM / in Bedtime Stories, Religion

While parts of my life are VERY high tech (see, you can teach an ‘old dog’ new tricks!), there is one area that is very OLD SCHOOL. I don’t have my calendar on my phone, or in any of my three computers. My calendar hangs on the wall just to the right of my monitor showing one month at the […]

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‘Twas the Night Before Jesus Came

on December 24, 2012, 5:00 PM / in Bedtime Stories

“He came to pay a debt He did not owe for those who owe a debt they cannot pay.” author unknown ‘Twas the Night Before Jesus Came ‘Twas the night before Jesus came and all through the house Not a creature was praying, not one in the house. Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care In hopes that […]

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The First Nut

The First Nut

on December 23, 2012, 9:15 AM / in Bedtime Stories

There were four country churches in a small TEXAS town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels . One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to […]

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Thankful

on December 21, 2012, 4:36 AM / in Bedtime Stories

I am in the mood to try to brighten up a week and can be both joyus as well as sad. Pass it on. I am thankful for the partner who hogs the covers every night, because he/she is not out with someone else. The child who is not cleaning his room, but is watching tv, because that means he […]

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How Am I Doing

How Am I Doing

on December 16, 2012, 9:17 AM / in Bedtime Stories

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?”The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.”The operator replied, “Let me put […]

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The Cross

The Cross

on December 12, 2012, 9:56 PM / in Bedtime Stories, Religion

A young man was at the end of his rope, seeing no way out, dropped to his knees in prayer. “Lord, I can’t go on,” he said. “I have too heavy of a cross to bear.” The Lord replied, “My son, if you can’t bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and […]

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