In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, “You want chocolate […]

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the repulsive behavior that was going on. So God called one of the angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When she returned, she told God, “Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.” God thought for a moment and […]

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them. Generally, […]

Lives of great men all remind us We can make our lives sublime, And, departing, leave behind us Footprints on the sands of time. Footprints, that perhaps another, Sailing o’er life’s solemn main, A forlorn and shipwrecked brother, Seeing, shall take heart again. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A man in his 40’s bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.  The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up.  As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. […]

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They  had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would  often sit together and admire the great works of art. When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father […]

If one day you feel like crying… Call me. I don’t promise that I will make you laugh, But I can cry with you. If one day you want to run away- Don’t be afraid to call me. I don’t promise to ask you to stop… But I can run with you. If one day you don’t want to listen […]

1.  Disneyland:  A people trap operated by a mouse. 2.  If at first you don’t succeed; skydiving is not for you. 3.  If you make it idiot proof, someone will make a better idiot. 4.  f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrammng. 5.  Is it okay to yell “MOVIE” in a crowded firehouse? […]

These two old red necks were working in the saw mill and one of them got too close to the saw and cut his ear off. The guy jumped down in the saw dust and started looking around.  His buddie said, ” Hay Zeek, what are you doing.?”  Zeek said, ” I’m looking for my ear, I cut it off.”  […]

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. ” Good morning, ” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.” “Go away!” said the […]

“To the King, one must give his possessions and his life; but honour is a possession of soul, and the soul is only God’s.” Pedro Calderon de la Barca, The Mayor of Zalamea, 1st day, character Pedro Crespo. Pedro Calderón de la Barca y Barreda González de Henao Ruiz de Blasco y Riaño, usually referred as Pedro Calderón de la […]

In George Washington’s days, there were no cameras. One’s image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. The prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many […]

Thanks to Sue for this heart mending piece Thanks to Jackie for sharing this beautiful email.  STONE  TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT . DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, WROTE IN THE SAND […]