Bedtime Stories

Smile and FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS

Smile and FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS

on April 28, 2014, 7:51 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Quote for today! If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “Take two and keep away from children.”

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Not everbody got good news

Not everbody got good news

on April 24, 2014, 6:14 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Smile, It could be Worse…

Smile, It could be Worse…

on April 23, 2014, 6:12 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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A-Hiking We Will Go…..

A-Hiking We Will Go…..

on April 17, 2014, 8:56 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Last summer, my husband, took me camping for the first time.  At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore. One day  we got lost hiking in the deep woods. He tried the usual tactics to  determine direction — moss on the trees (there was none), direction  of the sun (it was an overcast day), etc., etc. Just as I was […]

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Qualified

Qualified

on April 15, 2014, 9:27 AM / in Bedtime Stories

A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: “We have a critical shortage of typists. I’ll give you a little test. Type this,” he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The man, quite […]

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The Donut Question

The Donut Question

on April 15, 2014, 9:18 AM / in Bedtime Stories

The Donuts Dilemma Resolved Last week I asked for your guidance on whether, having won the office NCAA pool, I should buy donuts for my colleagues. You (mostly) said yes, though with varying degrees of persuasiveness. For example, this email wasn’t convincing: “For once in your life be a LIBERAL!!! Buy your oppressed masses donuts!!!” I rather liked this piece […]

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Celebrating The Raise

Celebrating The Raise

on April 13, 2014, 7:19 AM / in Bedtime Stories

My sister landed a good job with an accounting firm, and after a while she got a generous raise. The day she found out about it, her husband picked her up from work, and they stopped for ice cream. As they continued home, my sister blurted out, “Isn’t it hard to believe that I have a job that pays this […]

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Answer One Question

Answer One Question

on April 3, 2014, 9:43 AM / in Bedtime Stories

I was preparing lunch for my granddaughter when the phone rang. “If you can answer one question,” a young man said, “you’ll win two all expense days at La Reserve Spa.” Before I could tell him I was not interested, he continued. “You’ll be a lucky winner if you can tell me what Alexander Graham Bell invented.” “I don’t know,” […]

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Smile, it could be worse…..

Smile, it could be worse…..

on April 2, 2014, 6:23 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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I feel for the families… the Press “Knows Nothing”

I feel for the families… the Press “Knows Nothing”

on March 21, 2014, 6:32 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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NewsBusted 2/25/14

on February 25, 2014, 9:39 AM / in Bedtime Stories

TOPICS: — Presidents Day — President Obama — Jimmy Carter — Ray Nagin — Jimmy Fallon — Michelle Obama — Piers Morgan — Denmark Zoo Giraffe — Ellen Page Love NewsBusted and want to receive alerts about new episodes in your email? Visit http://newsbusters.org/newsbusted to sign up for free! Starring: Jodi Miller Production: Dialog New Media Feeling generous? Text ‘NewsBusters’ […]

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DIRTY

DIRTY

on February 20, 2014, 8:00 AM / in Bedtime Stories

A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, “Mom, Who am I ?” Ready to play his little game she said, “I don’t know! Who are you?” “WOW!” cried the child. “Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn’t recognize me!

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Lucianne.com and a little humor

Lucianne.com and a little humor

on February 20, 2014, 6:35 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Police questioning made the Beast recall seeing his neighbor Norman Basset of Bassets R Us of Bayonne in the next lane. In the back seat sat the most beautiful creature the Beast had ever seen. That’s when his depression began.   He asked the police to help him find her.

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The Question of the Year…..

The Question of the Year…..

on February 7, 2014, 5:30 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Special Thanks to Sue

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State of the Union 2014

on February 3, 2014, 9:33 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Actually, it’s a State of the Union cartoon from 2010…WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE??

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Stress Management

Stress Management

on January 31, 2014, 8:43 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Special Thanks to Jackie and Sue… you made my day. In case you are having a rough day, here’s a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile. 1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a […]

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Nothing Like a Little American Know How!

Nothing Like a Little American Know How!

on January 28, 2014, 6:58 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Special Thanks to the FreeRanger….

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Uncle Jay Explains the News… Well Maybe Not

on January 27, 2014, 8:31 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Hi, Boys & Girls! Public Radio is having its pledge week, so it’s a good time to mention that Uncle Jay gets no job-killing government funding to be slashed.  Many thanks for your contributions to Uncle Jay’s Tip Jar and shopping at Uncle J-Mart.  They’re at the home page here. Now, about this week’s episode: Uncle Jay apologizes to anyone […]

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According to Some….

According to Some….

on January 27, 2014, 6:47 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Channel Surfing

on January 25, 2014, 7:38 AM / in Bedtime Stories

We couldn’t write a script about any ONE subject, so we just “channel surfed” through some current topics.

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