Bedtime Stories

FOUR ALL WHO REED AND RIGHT

FOUR ALL WHO REED AND RIGHT

on May 16, 2015, 6:34 AM / in Bedtime Stories

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If […]

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I could tag this to other Reps as well……

I could tag this to other Reps as well……

on May 14, 2015, 7:15 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Quote for Today May 12th

Quote for Today May 12th

on May 12, 2015, 5:53 AM / in Bedtime Stories, People

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. Joseph Cossman, Wit On Target, 1998, p. 91

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THE CATHOLIC DOG

THE CATHOLIC DOG

on May 11, 2015, 6:30 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, me dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?” Father Patrick replied, “I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But […]

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Candidate Hillary’s softer side, talks of growing up in Hawaii as a black male

Candidate Hillary’s softer side, talks of growing up in Hawaii as a black male

on May 8, 2015, 8:47 AM / in Bedtime Stories

BY ANDREW MALCOLM /  Investors.com Our more than 188,000 combined followers on Twitter (click here for that) and on Facebook (then click here to subscribe to that) know that on weekday afternoons we regularly share a selection of that evening’s late-night jokes before broadcast. We publish a collection of these and other jokes when the shows are not on hiatus. […]

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DON’T MISSTHIS TELEPHONE CALL …..

DON’T MISSTHIS TELEPHONE CALL …..

on May 8, 2015, 5:30 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Open with speakers on and smile… thanks to Bud….. [peckplayer id=”1″ sound=”http://thejacksonpress.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Obama_Golf.mp3″]

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An old joke, still worth telling

An old joke, still worth telling

on May 7, 2015, 5:39 AM / in Bedtime Stories

  Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Mc Cain were flying to a debate. Barack looked at Hillary, Chuckled and said, “You know I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.” Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, “I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make […]

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Okay, Maybe You Might Find This One Funny

Okay, Maybe You Might Find This One Funny

on May 6, 2015, 10:44 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Oh Come on… There is something funny in this.

Oh Come on… There is something funny in this.

on May 6, 2015, 7:12 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Health

Health

on May 5, 2015, 5:30 AM / in Bedtime Stories

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, “You want chocolate […]

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Subject: God was looking down at Earth

Subject: God was looking down at Earth

on May 4, 2015, 5:30 AM / in Bedtime Stories

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the repulsive behavior that was going on. So God called one of the angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When she returned, she told God, “Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.” God thought for a moment and […]

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THE GIRL ON THE BEACH

THE GIRL ON THE BEACH

on May 3, 2015, 5:30 AM / in Bedtime Stories

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them. Generally, […]

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Being Accused of Being a Racist, I find this funny

Being Accused of Being a Racist, I find this funny

on May 2, 2015, 7:35 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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FOOTPRINTS

FOOTPRINTS

on May 2, 2015, 6:41 AM / in Bedtime Stories

Lives of great men all remind us We can make our lives sublime, And, departing, leave behind us Footprints on the sands of time. Footprints, that perhaps another, Sailing o’er life’s solemn main, A forlorn and shipwrecked brother, Seeing, shall take heart again. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Good Reason

Good Reason

on May 1, 2015, 6:43 AM / in Bedtime Stories

A man in his 40’s bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.  The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up.  As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. […]

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The Son

The Son

on May 1, 2015, 5:30 AM / in Bedtime Stories

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They  had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would  often sit together and admire the great works of art. When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father […]

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TO MY FRIENDS

TO MY FRIENDS

on April 30, 2015, 7:47 AM / in Bedtime Stories

If one day you feel like crying… Call me. I don’t promise that I will make you laugh, But I can cry with you. If one day you want to run away- Don’t be afraid to call me. I don’t promise to ask you to stop… But I can run with you. If one day you don’t want to listen […]

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One Sided Free Speech

One Sided Free Speech

on April 30, 2015, 6:19 AM / in Bedtime Stories
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Food for Thought for Today April 30th

Food for Thought for Today April 30th

on April 30, 2015, 5:30 AM / in Bedtime Stories

1.  Disneyland:  A people trap operated by a mouse. 2.  If at first you don’t succeed; skydiving is not for you. 3.  If you make it idiot proof, someone will make a better idiot. 4.  f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrammng. 5.  Is it okay to yell “MOVIE” in a crowded firehouse? […]

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The Sawmill

The Sawmill

on April 29, 2015, 5:30 AM / in Bedtime Stories

These two old red necks were working in the saw mill and one of them got too close to the saw and cut his ear off. The guy jumped down in the saw dust and started looking around.  His buddie said, ” Hay Zeek, what are you doing.?”  Zeek said, ” I’m looking for my ear, I cut it off.”  […]

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