Baptists Delighted They Can Now Wear Masks At Liquor Store

Baptist believers have reported they are “utterly delighted” to learn they can now wear full face masks at the liquor store, preventing anyone from recognizing them.

As soon as people started wearing masks in public, Baptists jumped at the opportunity to cover their entire faces while purchasing beer, wine, and hard liquor. Pastors and lay believers alike rushed their local alcohol shops, stocking up on cases of beer and wine. Liquor stores all across the nation have reported a massive increase in sales from masked Baptists, keeping local economies afloat during this tough time.

“We get to cover our faces at the liquor store? I’m all over it,” said one Baptist pastor in Cincinnati as he fashioned a full-coverage face mask out of some old choir robes. “But uh, just to be clear: I’m just going in there to check and see if any of my church members are buying alcohol. It’s, uh, my pastoral duty.”

“And maybe I’ll pick up some Welch’s for Communion, while I’m over there,” he added as he slipped on his mask, concealing his identity entirely, and headed out to do his “ministry.”

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