Shut In Thoughts

All these people are worrying about a baby boom in the next nine months. Two days of homeschooling should nip that right in the bud!

All I can think about now when I’m watching any TV show or movie is how everyone is standing WAY too close together.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe!

The Department of Health is looking to hire couples married seven years or more to educate people on social distancing.

Quarantine Day 16. I’ve started taking calls from telemarketers. Some of them are actually quite nice. Jamar from Superior Life Insurance has a new baby.

Grocery shopping has become a real life version of Pac-Man. Avoid everyone, get the fruit, and take any route possible to avoid contact.

So we don’t go to restaurants, kids aren’t signed up for anything, and we just stayed home for Spring Break? Sounds like my childhood.

This is like being 16 again. Gas is cheap and I’m grounded. Geez.

My spouse and I play this fun game during quarantine. It’s called, “Why Are You Doing It That Way?” There are no winners.

When we come out of this and I ask you where you want to eat, I do NOT want to hear, “I don’t know.” …YOU HAD 55 DAYS!

Can’t wait until this is over so I can go back to social distancing on my own terms.

Just bought six pounds of cheese. Won’t need toilet paper now.

My car probably thinks I died.

I’m getting three weeks to the gallon in my car now.

It’s been a blessing being home with the spouse for eight weeks now. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong for 30 years.

If your parents are over 60 and want to go out .. FORBID THEM! If they complain and say, “But everyone else is doing it”, tell them, “You’re not everyone.” IT’S PAYBACK TIME!

Hormel Foods made their first batch of SPAM in 1937. With everyone out shopping and hoarding food, they have announced they will be making their second batch later this week.

If you believe that the Yankees will be playing in two weeks, raise your right hand. Now slap yourself with it.

Due to my isolation, I finished three books yesterday. And believe me, that’s a lot of coloring!

Anyone else getting a tan from the light in your refrigerator?

%d bloggers like this: