Happy days are here again !

Thoughts about the Pandemic

I’m having a quarantine party this weekend! None of you are invited.

All I can think about now when I’m watching any TV show or movie is how everyone is standing WAY too close together.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune.   Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe!

Quarantine Day 16. I’ve started taking calls from telemarketers. Some of them are actually quite nice. Jamar from Superior Life Insurance has a new baby.

Grocery shopping has become a real life version of Pac-Man. Avoid everyone, get the fruit, and take any route possible to avoid conflict.

My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine. It’s called, “Why Are You Doing It That Way?” There are no winners.

When we come out of this and I ask you where you want to eat, I do NOT want to hear, “I don’t know.” YOU HAD 45 DAYS!

Just bought six pounds of cheese. Won’t need toilet paper now.

My car probably thinks I died.

It’s been a blessing being home with the wife for three weeks now. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong for 15 years.

If your parents are over 60 and want to go out … FORBID THEM!   If they complain and say, “But everyone else is doing it”, tell them, “You’re not everyone.” IT’S PAYBACK TIME!

Hormel Foods made their first batch of SPAM in 1937. With everyone out shopping and hoarding food, they have announced they will be making their second batch later this week.

If you believe that the Canucks will be playing hockey in two weeks, raise your right hand. Now slap yourself with it.

Due to my isolation, I finished three books yesterday. And believe me, that’s a lot of colouring!

Anyone else getting a tan from the light in your refrigerator?

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