Men walk a mile in high heels

west tn ht care walk a mile

Originally Posted November 2018

WRAP did an excellent job of marketing their campaign to raise funds for the work that it does in the protection of battered women and typically I would have little objection to that… organizations like WRAP must be somewhat inventive these days competing for funds. However, there is that preverbal line in the sand that some organizations generally cross into the twilight zone. WRAP with the help West Tennessee Health Care Foundation and a few other local groups did just that. They decided that all policy should be equal to all….

The organization and its message has moved a little too far to the left.

First, high heels are one of the myriad of uncomfortable things that our media and pop culture tells women that they should wear. Some like them, and some don’t, but most have probably worn them and suffered either now or will in the future.

This was of course a chance for men of West Tennessee Health Care Foundation to put on those same shoes and think critically about the ways that we raise men and women differently. We already know that the President thinks differently about this but now we have two interns spending the odd word around.

Second, in addition to the impact you, as a walker, might experience, in high hills, you would also be seen and noticed during the walk by all those around us, which is fantastic!  I know, we want the community to think critically about gender and violence issues, and we want all of Jackson-Madison County to know about the mission of WRAP and about the services and programs WRAP provides to thousands of abused women and children each year.

Third, we believe that no matter the issue, no one really ever knows what someone else is experiencing unless they are willing to walk a mile in her shoes. While we can’t make men literally turn into women, (sorry I miss-stated there, some believe that it is possible for men to turn into women) the West Tennessee Foundation group felt this is an interesting opportunity for them to experience literally walking a mile in traditionally uncomfortable shoes.

Might have gotten this wrong since my Latin is not what it is supposed to be. Hopefully you will get the point.

Prima di giudicare qualcuno, cammina sette giorni con le sue scarpe” 

“Before you judge somebody, walk for seven days in his shoes”

There are some variant, like “un mese”, “a month”, instead of seven days, or “mocassini”, “slip-on”, instead of “scarpe”, but yes, it’s used in Italy, but in Italy is reported as a Native American saying.

“You never really know a man until you understand things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

Lee, Harper. To Kill a Mockingbird. J.B. Lippincott & Co., 1960

Being able to empathize means to be capable of identifying and understanding another person’s feelings, without experiencing them for yourself at that particular moment. It is – just as previously discussed – the ability to literally experience the world from another person’s perspective; to walk in their shoes, to view life from their living conditions and to feel what it feels like to be that person.

The noun em•pa•thy refers to

  • the ability to comprehend another person’s actions and emotions
  • the identification of thoughts and emotional states within others
  • the capacity to understand a persons (emotional) reaction
  • the awareness of another’s problems, without experiencing them

which can be – in general – understood as the ability of a person to understand others or to “see where they are coming from”. In contrast to this, the personality trait of a person that is incapable of empathizing with others would be defined as a sociopath.

How would you translate “you can’t really know a man until you walk a mile in his shoes?
I checked in the net and found other forums where someone asked about the origin for the phrase “walk a mile in my shoes” and someone else gave not the origin, but the complete phrase: (Quote) DON’T JUDGE A MAN UNTIL YOU HAVE WALKED A MILE IN HIS BOOTS – “Don’t criticize another person’s work until you’ve tried to do it yourself; don’t judge another person’s life until you’ve been forced to live it. The word ‘criticize’ may be used instead of ‘judge’ and ‘shoes’ instead of ‘boots.’ The main entry is one of the 101 most frequently used American proverbs, according to lexicographer Harris Collis.” From “Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings” (1996) by Gregory Y. Titelman (Random House, New York, 1996). (UNQUOTE)

In the translation I would go for something like, “No puedes conocer a un hombre, hasta que no has pasado por lo mismo que él” or “hasta que no has estado en su piel” “hasta que no has estado en su pellejo”.

Does anyone else have any other or better ideas?

In another place we have a joke,
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you’ll be a mile away and
have his shoes.

Here the expression has to be translated more “literally”, otherwise, with “piel” or “pellejo” we lose the joke a bit. (Or becomes a bit “out there”.) “Entonces cuando critiques a esa persona, estarás a más de un kilómetro y medio de distancia y dentro de su piel…

Any ideas and refreshing viewpoints on this will be appreciated… (and I don’t think anyone one has to walk more than a few yards in my shoes to… judge me “guilty

Walk a mile in my shoes

by Joe South

If I could be you, if you could be me for just one hour
If we could find a way to get inside each other’s mind, mh
If you could see you through my eyes instead of your ego
I believe you’d be surprised to see that you’ve been blind, mh

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
Hey, before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes

Now your whole world you see around you is just a reflection
And the law of common says you’re gonna reap just what you sow
So unless you’ve lived a life of total perfection
You’d better be careful of every stone that you should throw – yeh-heh

And yet we spend the day throwin’ stones at one another
‘Cause I don’t think or wear my hair the same way you do, mh
Well, I may be common people but I’m your brother
And when you strike out you’re tryin’ to hurt me it’s hurtin’ you
Lord, have mercy

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
Babe, before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes

And there are people on reservations and out in the ghettos
And brother, there, but for the grace of God, go you and I, yeh-heh
And if I only had wings of a little angel, well
Don’t you know, I’d fly to the top of a mountain and then I’d cry

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
Babe, before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Better walk a mile in my shoes
Try before what you’re doing

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
Oh, before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes…


ONE of the songs Elvis Presley liked to perform in the ’70s was Joe South’s “Walk a Mile in My Shoes,” its message clearly spelled out in the title.

Sometimes he would preface it with the 1951 Hank Williams recitation “Men With Broken Hearts,” which may well have been South’s original inspiration. “You’ve never walked in that man’s shoes/Or saw things through his eyes/Or stood and watched with helpless hands/While the heart inside you dies.” For Elvis these two songs were as much about social justice as empathy and understanding: “Help your brother along the road,” the Hank Williams number concluded, “No matter where you start/For the God that made you made them, too/These men with broken hearts.”

In Elvis’s case, this simple lesson was not just a matter of paying lip service to an abstract principle.

It was what he believed, it was what his music had stood for from the start: the breakdown of barriers, both musical and racial. This is not, unfortunately, how it is always perceived 30 years after his death, the anniversary of which is on Thursday. When the singer Mary J. Blige expressed her reservations about performing one of his signature songs, she only gave voice to a view common in the African-American community. “I prayed about it,” she said, “because I know Elvis was a racist.”

men and women are equal but different. When I say equal, I mean that men and women have a right to equal opportunity and protection under the law. The fact that people in this country are assured these rights does not negate my observation that men and women are at least as different psychologically as they are physically.

None of us would argue the fact that men and women are physically different. The physical differences are rather obvious and most of these can be seen and easily measured. Weight, shape, size and anatomy are not political opinions but rather tangible and easily measured. The physical differences between men and women provide functional advantages and have survival value. Men usually have greater upper body strength, build muscle easily, have thicker skin, bruise less easily and have a lower threshold of awareness of injuries to their extremities. Men are essentially built for physical confrontation and the use of force. Their joints are well suited for throwing objects. A man’s skull is almost always thicker and stronger than a women’s. No pun intended.

The stereotype that men are more “thick-headed” than women is not far fetched. A man’s “thick headedness”, and other anatomical differences have been associated with a uniquely male attraction to high speed activities and reckless behavior that usually involve collisions with other males or  automobiles. Men invented the game “chicken”, not women. Men, and a number of other male species of animal seem to charge and crash into each other a great deal in their spare time.

Women on the other hand have four times as many brain cells (neurons) connecting the right and left side of their brain. This latter finding provides physical evidence that supports the observation that men rely easily and more heavily on their left brain to solve one problem one step at a time. Women have more efficient access to both sides of their brain and therefore greater use of their right brain. Women can focus on more than one problem at one time and frequently prefer to solve problems through multiple activities at a time. Nearly every parent has observed how young girls find the conversations of young boys “boring”. Young boys express confusion and would rather play sports than participate actively in a conversation between 5 girls who are discussing as many as three subjects at once!

The psychological differences between man and women are less obvious. They can be difficult to describe. Yet these differences can profoundly influence how we form and maintain relationships that can  range from work and friendships to marriage and parenting.

Recognizing, understanding, discussing as well as acting skillfully in light of the differences between men and women can be difficult. Our failure to recognize and appreciate these differences can become a life long source of disappointment, frustration, tension and eventually our downfall in a relationship. Not only can these differences destroy a promising relationship, but most people will grudgingly accept or learn to live with the consequences. Eventually they find some compromise or way to cope. Few people ever work past these difficulties. People tend to accept what they don’t understand when they feel powerless to change it.

Relationships between men and women are not impossible or necessarily difficult. Problems simply arise when we expect or assume the opposite sex should think, feel or act the way we do. It’s not that men and women live in completely different realities. Rather, our lack of knowledge and mutual experience gives rise to our difficulties.

Despite great strides in this country toward equality, modern society hasn’t made relationships between men and women any easier. Today’s society has taught us and has imposed on us the expectation that men and women should live together continuously, in communion, and in harmony. These expectations are not only unrealistic but ultimately they leave people feeling unloved, inadequate, cynical, apathetic or ashamed.

The challenge facing men and women is to become aware of their identities, to accept their differences, and to live their lives fully and as skillfully as possible. To do this we must first understand in what ways we are different. We must avoid trying to change others to suit our needs. The following illustrates some important differences between men and women. These differences are not absolute. They describe how men and women are in most situations most of the time.


G-d is neither masculine nor feminine, but has two forms of emanation: the masculine form, which is more aggressive, and the feminine form, which is more subtle. For a human being to lead a total life, he or she must have both forms of energy: the power of strength and the power of subtlety; the power of giving and the power of receiving. Ideally, these energies are merged seamlessly.


New American, gender notes

Bring it back to men and women are different period this is just for fun and the odds that men will think differently is a pipe dream.

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