How to Wish the Politically Correct Crowd a Merry Christmas

Family Action Council of Tennessee

The politically correct crowd insists that it is somehow not correct to wish people a “Merry Christmas.” Instead, we are supposed to say something like “Happy Holidays.” But something’s always troubled me about that. And now I’ve put my finger on it. I’ve put all my legal skills at parsing words into sorting out this complex problem, and perhaps there is another way to express ourselves.

I know that the problem with “Merry Christmas” is that those who extend that greeting are supposedly hoping people find merriment in a Christian religious observance. And I guess they think the greeting is some attempt to impose on them the greeter’s religion. Of course, if you think that at this point our culture, on the whole, really perceives Christmas as a religious observance more than a secular holiday, then you may not have noticed how many people get up at 3 a.m. on Black Friday to usher in the Christmas season at “services” offered at the mall.

I know that wasn’t very politically correct, but onto the business at hand—what greeting do you give people at this time of year? The politically correct crowd that is constantly worried about offending someone’s feelings and sensibilities suggests we say, “Happy Holidays” to respect those who celebrate Kwanzaa or Hanukkah or maybe something else I’ve forgotten.

But what about those who, like Jehovah’s witnesses, recognize no holiday this week? Doesn’t “Happy Holidays” impose on them our beliefs about the celebratory nature of the season? So, I think that in order to be tolerant and sensitive to other’s feelings, we should just say something like “Enjoy the Season.” After all, it is a season of the year for everyone.

Ah, but winter is not that enjoyable to a lot of people. Rather, the cold makes them feel miserable and being light-deprived by the short days makes them feel depressed. But I guess that’s a good reason to wish they could enjoy the season, because wouldn’t we rather them enjoy the season than be miserable?

But, wait. That creates another problem. Why would I want to try to tell people how they should feel? After all, my feelings are just that, my feelings. Why should someone else try to tell me how I should feel? That’s not very sensitive. We should be affirmed in whatever feelings we may have and others should respect that.

Trying to be the most politically correct person that I can (which, you readers know, is my life’s ambition), let me suggest the following to those of you who really want to avoid any offense. Maybe you should not say anything and just print this on little cards and hand them out:

Please feel however you want to feel about this time of year, or if you prefer, please do not feel like you have to have any feelings at all about this time of year or feel like you have to have any feelings about any other time of year if you do not feel like feeling anything right now. And, of course, feel free not to feel anything at any time of year if that’s what you feel like, in which case, I hope nothing or no one interferes with how you are feeling or not feeling at the time you choose to be feeling or not feeling something.

To all the rest of you willing to risk being offended, I say, “Merry Christmas!”

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