It’s Snowing

It’s been snowing all night. 

So the morning goes like this:

8:00
I made a snowman.

8:10
A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

8:15
So, I made a snow woman.

8:17
The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest.

8:20
The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:25
The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28
I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31
The Muslim gent across the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.

8:40
Someone calls the cops who show up to see what’s going on.

8:42
I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse after I mutter : “Yeah, if it’s up you’re a***”

8:45
Local TV news crew shows up.  I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women?  I reply, “Snowballs” and am called a sexist.

8:52
My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am being blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.

9:00
I’m on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.

9:10
I am asked if I have any accomplices.

9:29
A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.

Moral:

None.  It’s just the America we live in today!

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