God Doesn’t Always Translate to CCM*

By Erick Erickson  |  The Resurgent

On Friday, the Mueller report finally dropped. Over the weekend, speculation built, the Justice Department confirmed there would be no new indictments, and finally on Sunday the Attorney General dropped his letter summarizing the report.

While the Mueller news was breaking, something else was happening.  In the spirit of the Lenten season, let me just keep this real.  For the last three weeks, my wife battled pneumonia.  She finally got over that only to wind up in an urgent care facility this past Saturday.  A weakened immune system had left her vulnerable.  The urgent care doctor called up an ambulance and sent her to a hospital emergency room to be admitted to the hospital.

The emergency room doctor not only did not admit her, but sent her home with medicine for a migraineand no antibiotics for the infection she had.  On Sunday, I had to call the urgent care facility and they were shocked she was not in the hospital and angry she had no antibiotics.  The Mueller report might have been happening, but other things in life were more important.  On Monday, we spent all day in a different emergency room and ultimately got discharged because there was no doctor available to do a procedure.  On Tuesday morning, we got up and went to a different hospital emergency room at the request of the ER from Monday.

As an aside, the flu is so terrible around here, there are no spare beds in any hospital. They are complete swamped. Having a wife with lung cancer in a hospital full of flu patients is no great thing. But finally, finally, the doctors of the second and third ER visits and an outside specialist have been able to get the healing going it seems.

I find myself at times like this wondering if God forgot about me.  Most of me knows he has not, but it is after midnight and I have been in a hospital all day watching misery all around me, I have had nothing but coffee all day so I am hangry, and I understand in the misery that a lot of people see the misery and conclude there must not be a God.

The mental exhaustion of a day like today lets the worries flow freely and my personal motto is “why pray when I can worry.”  Having children to tend to, a wife to tend to, and a job to do at the same time the Mueller report comes out makes it all overwhelming.  I turn on the Christian radio station and some upbeat song is singing “my fear cannot stand when I stand in the presence of the Lord” or something like that.  All it does is make me feel guilty because I am worried for my wife and fearful for the future so I guess I am not in the presence of the Lord.  Thanks, upbeat Christian song!

If I were to write a Christian song right now the lyrics would be something like “here we are again God. I keep asking for something else to worry about instead of this and time and time again here we are again. Are you even listening? Are you even real? Because this kinda sucks right now and I really could use a break.” No it does not rhyme, but it rather captures the moment. Life does not always stay in upbeat Christian contemporary music mode.

If I were to write a Christian song right now the lyrics would be something like “here we are again God.  I keep asking for something else to worry about instead of this and time and time again here we are again.  Are you even listening?  Are you even real?  Because this kinda sucks right now and I really could use a break.”  No it does not rhyme, but it rather captures the moment.  Life does not always stay in upbeat Christian contemporary music mode.

Times like this are when doctrine matters and shallow faith either gives way or grows deep.  Theology eventually meets reality and people are left to wonder where God is and why we cannot get a break.  If we think outside the hangry frame of mind, we do get a real answer.  God is there the whole time.  He got no break on the cross.  We do not get a break from life.  Sometimes we have to get on our knees and force ourselves to pray just to force ourselves through our own moments of doubt and unbelief.  It is the natural path of the sinner.

In the quiet moments we may see the smile of the elderly lady as her husband touches her hand.  We may see the nurse doing more than is expected just to provide someone comfort.  We may see the woman offering prayer for the stranger she just met.  And in all these things we see the face of God.  He may not stop the waves from crashing over us any more than he prevented Christ from dying on a cross.  But he keeps us standing firm or picks us back up when we tip over.  Belief is no easy thing in a world that drowns out God.  Just because we are stressed, overwhelmed, or frazzled does not mean he is not there.

*Christian contemporary music

Editor of The Resurgent and host of the Erick Erickson Show on WSB Radio. He has been both a CNN and Fox News contributor and appears regularly on NBC News’ Meet the Press and HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher. Erick is a lawyer by training and is working on a degree in theology. He lives in Macon, GA with his wife and children. For speaking engagements, please contact Premiere Speakers Bureau.

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