News, Opinion, State News

“No Ifs, Ands or Butts”

We have all heard about “Race To The Top.”  Now comes the “Race To The Bottom.”

What did they put in the drinking water down in Williamson County?

If other readers around the state wonder why RTP sometimes writes about Williamson County education issues it’s because two of RTP’s crew members have kids in Williamson County Schools.  That, and we found out about this issue late on Friday while we were sitting in a bar and well into our third beer trying to convince each other UT could beat Georgia.  (Editor’s note:  They didn’t.)

So we get this email, telling us there is a real snit-fit going on between the newly-elected chairman of the Williamson County school board, “Butt-boy” Mark Gregory, and the guy he defeated for chairman, “Bellyaching” Bob Hullet.  We figured what the hell — this calls for some drunk-blogging on our part.

The Tennessean has breathlessly reported that Chairman Gregory is the proud inventor of an essential piece of bar ware called “The Buttle Opener” (see the photo below):

buttle opener

Classy, huh?  We swear to God we are not making this up.  As this embarrassing revelation was roiling the bluebloods of Brentwood, the Tennessean followed up with another article saying Gregory was late in paying some of his taxes (Egads!  Get a rope and let’s hang the bastard!).  No one who knows any overworked reporters  believes the Tennessean dug up all this info on their own.  Nah, someone was feeding them the negative information on “Butt-boy” Gregory.  And many believe the chief leaker was “Bellyaching Bob Hullett.”  It’s a pretty safe guess, since just before the chairman’s vote, Belly-aching Bob circulated photos of the Buttle Opener to fellow board members.  (No word on whether any female members of the board were offended enough to file sexual harassment charges against Hullet, who obviously has some sort of obsession with women’s derrieres.)

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October 2, 2014

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