“The Call of the Far Away Hills” (3:01)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Professor Wert asked us for a return engagement, as he said, to set the record straight so we said, fine, go for it and here he is. Take it away, Professor.”
‘Thank you, Roving, for making me feel welcome after such an insightful and warm introduction. I don’t know if you know this or not, but Henry and I are best of friends who go back, well, way back when. The other day Henry mentioned something in passing and I didn’t pay it any mind, but then I thought maybe I ought to share with you, if for no other reason than to ease my conscience.”
“Sounds rather ominous. What gives?”
“It’s like this: apparently this Zyklon character is for real; at least that’s what Henry said. Henry said Zyklon is mighty upset with people getting killed for nothing, so he – that would be Zyklon – asked Henry what he thought of making Mars habitual and beaming all the Jews to it. Henry just said that in passing, mind you, but I’ve been thinking about it.”
“No way. Zyklon can really do that?”
“I’m beginning to think he can. I mean, I’m almost positive he very well might have the capability; he flies all over the Milky Way, so why not?”
“But, what, earth people on a desert with nothing?”
“That’s what I said, and Henry, too, but no, there would be roads and trees and ice-cream stands.”
“Any potholes?”
“No, I don’t believe there would be any potholes. And cheap gas; none of this ‘Bidenomics’ idiocy because there would be no Biden.”
“And no Barry Soetoro either?”
“That’s right; no Obama, no Chuck Schumer and no Mitch McConnell.”
“But Schumer is a Jew.”
“A New York City Jew is not a real Jew. Heck, we’re more Jewish than Schumer ever was or ever will be.”
“What about money and stuff?”
“Everything would be the same but no idiots running around loose. You have your cars and kites, airplanes and roller skates.”
“Will there be any Christians?”
“For sure, everybody gets to partake in living together except the crazy idiots who worship hate; those people are not allowed. They get left behind to kill one another.”
“Did Zyklon mentioned to Henry what the world – Earth — would be like after all the normal people went to Mars?”
“Yes, matter of fact he did, something rather strange. Zyklon said that the only sound you would hear on Earth was the gnashing of teeth. You see, all the birds, dogs, pigs, goats, fish and whales and all the other animals would go along for the ride, and the only ones left would be the ones who worshiped hate, the crazy ones gnashing their teeth due to an overabundance of pure evil, living their whole lives filled with hate with some sort of warped revenge against the one thing that sets us apart from them: THE GOLDEN RULE.”
“Thank you very much; you’ve given us something to think about, that’s for sure. And so, this is your Roving Reporter, along with Professor Wert, wishing everyone a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
