It’s the off-season, but Kansas City Chiefs star kicker Harrison Butker is playing defense now.
Giving a commencement address at a Catholic college last weekend, the three-time Super Bowl champion praised his wife, Isabelle, a stay-at-home mom, and warned the women graduating of “diabolical lies” regarding whether career success would make them happier than motherhood.
“All of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker,” Butker told graduates at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kansas. “She’s a primary educator to our children. She’s the one who ensures I never let football or my business become a distraction from that of a husband and father.”
“I say all of this to you because I’ve seen it firsthand how much happier someone can be when they disregard the outside noise and move closer and closer to God’s will in their life,” he added. “Isabelle’s dream of having a career might not have come true. But if you ask her today if she has any regrets on her decision, she would laugh out loud without hesitation and say, ‘Heck, no.’”
Cue a media meltdown more appropriate for oh, a commencement speaker suggesting that graduates pursue a career in terrorism.
“Chiefs’ Harrison Butker blasted for commencement speech encouraging women to be homemakers,” blared NBC News. “Chiefs’ Harrison Butker Criticized for Graduation Speech Attacking Working Women While Quoting Taylor Swift,” wrote People.
“It’s demeaning to women to imply that their choices outside of wife and motherhood pale in comparison to that of a homemaker,” former California first lady and journalist Maria Shriver posted on X.
Even the NFL, apparently no longer as devoted to promoting freedom of conscience as the league was during the Colin Kaepernick kneeling era, distanced itself from Butker—who also made waves with his criticism of Pride Month, in vitro fertilization, and the “tyranny of diversity, equity, and inclusion” during his speech.
“Harrison Butker gave a speech in his personal capacity,” Jonathan Beane, an NFL senior vice president and chief diversity and inclusion officer, told People. “His views are not those of the NFL as an organization. The NFL is steadfast in our commitment to inclusion, which only makes our league stronger.
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But here’s the catch: Half of women with children 18 and younger say they would like to stay at home. According to a 2019 Gallup poll, 50% of women with minor children said they would prefer to be a homemaker, while 45% said they’d prefer to work outside the home.
In other words, it’s Butker, not his critics, who represent the most popular view among women with younger children.
If I’m blessed with children, I honestly don’t know if I’ll continue working, whether part time or full time, or choose to stay at home.
But I’m sick of this idea that it’s wrong to say that some women, and maybe even most women, would be happier staying at home with their children.
Among my mom, my sister, and friends, I’ve seen many women find genuine fulfillment and joy in staying home with their children, even as they face very real sacrifices because of it. (Ask a stay-at-home mom how often she longs for adult conversation, or how she feels about the ten-thousandth time she’s dealt with a toddler meltdown.)
Of course, being a stay-at-home mom—or dad—just isn’t on the table for many American families struggling to pay the bills, even on two salaries. Many great moms and dads do choose to have both parents work, and still raise wonderful kids.