By J.B. Shurk
Watching these pro-Hamas riots taking place on some of America’s most pampered and privileged college campuses feels a lot like ripping off a dirty bandage only to discover that the foul-smelling flesh is teeming with gangrene. I know that most of the country’s esteemed academic institutions traded intellectual vitality for vapid political correctness many years ago, but still, students waging violent jihad in support of Israel’s destruction are a gut-wrenching sight. These are the same youthful, useless idiots who are always banging on about banning “hate” speech, yet the words coming out of their mouths are vile, offensive, and crude. How can a sane person denounce “hate” while effusing nothing but hate? I want to grab a literature major by the collar and point out the irony, but I’m no longer convinced the youngest among us know how to read.
They certainly know little of history. They don’t even know who their friends and enemies are. On every campus partaking in a bit of Islamic revolution these days, there is always some contingent of Pronoun People expressing solidarity with Hamas terrorists. These are the same violent Islamicists who proudly display copies of Mein Kampf, think Hitler was a swell guy, and routinely throw homosexuals off the roofs of small buildings (chosen so that victims experience maximum pain before succumbing to their injuries). Western Marxists have spent the last century banding disparate groups of people together under the same rickety, “intersectional” umbrella in order to maximize political power, but what kind of self-hating prog thinks zeir/their/its future is aligned with bloodthirsty barbarians who believe torturing gays is a moral imperative? That’s like a herd of cows yucking it up with the rail yardmen on their way to the slaughterhouse.
What’s the theory of the case here? That after sufficiently indoctrinating America’s kindergartners with “transgender” drag shows and pornographic story hours, bearded men wearing skimpy dresses will be able to turn their attention to the Middle East and hug the violence out of some of the most vicious killers on the planet? Do the privileged children of the Ivy League really find common cause with monsters who decapitate babies and rape women as part of their battle strategy? Is there truly no atrocity so horrific that it might get a member of the “intersectional” coalition kicked out for sheer depravity? For 1,400 years, Islam has made two things abundantly clear: (1) it is not a religion of peace, and (2) it has no interest in modernizing. I hope the hundred-pound, non-binary, climate apocalypse major wearing Rainbow sandals while protesting against Western colonialism doesn’t have to find that out the hard way. Yet I get the feeling a lot of these undereducated but over-pedigreed fools won’t learn to run away from Islamic fundamentalism until they are literally running from men with bloody blades eager to end their lives. Slow brains will need fast feet.
It is surreal listening to some of the interviews coming from these campus communists. They hate Israel. They hate America and everything she represents. They hate Western civilization. And they hate Christians. That’s a lot of hate for people who claim to fight hatred. Meanwhile, they’re studying at $100K-a-year American schools that were founded by Christians who developed a pedagogy based upon 3,000 years of Western intellectual achievements! Isn’t attending a school that you find doctrinally repulsive kind of like running into a brick wall and screaming at the bricks?
At least these Islamic terrorists-in-training aren’t asking for much from their universities in return for the promise of peace. I’ve seen a few lists that include things as innocuous as strobe lights, rope, zip ties, wound-packing gauze, tourniquets, trauma shears, helmets, shields, wood, goggles, utility gloves, and protective pads. Kinkier demands include dental dams, Plan B, HIV tests, and Vaseline. All of these adorable insurgents are hungry for vegan and gluten-free food. Oh, yeah, and they all insist that Israel must be annihilated. So, appeasing faculties just need to provide students with weapons, sexual toys, socially conscious dining options, and a little genocide. That seems reasonable. A couple satirists found enough inspiration to produce a glorious update to a classic song: “Hello Muddah, hello Faddah / I have joined Camp Intifada.”
I have never understood the campus protester whose first order of business — after admission and opening convocation — is to run to University Hall and tell the welcoming administrators just how awful they and their academic institution really are. I’ve always thought a competent faculty would simply step outside whatever building is being barricaded and besieged, gather the names of students in attendance, cashier their rears, and fill their newly opened spots from the list of heartbroken applicants who were originally denied admission. Nobody should be forced to matriculate at a place that is apparently so bad that it requires student occupation, and no college should feel compelled to enroll students who wish to burn it down. Yet apparently a great number of professors and students believe it is logical to use their time together not learning and researching but rather destroying parts of campus, toppling historic statues of long-deceased founders, and demanding that tuition dollars be sent to ISIS offshoots in the Middle East. It seems to me that such likeminded teachers and students are close-minded activists and rigid demagogues feigning to be free thinkers and honest intellectuals. As such, they serve no purpose in a classroom.
Worse than that, academia has turned into quite the hotbed of tenured racists looking to terrorize Americans for their personal beliefs. A Georgetown professor was caught on video calling Representative Byron Donalds — a black Republican from Florida — an “Uncle Tom” and “race traitor” for taking a stand against anti-Semitism on college campuses. When a distinguished Jesuit institution and the oldest Catholic university in the United States includes on its faculty a man of such mediocre intellect that he must resort to abusive racial slurs, then reasonable people should seriously question whether higher education deserves to be saved. Perhaps the noblest thing that thinking people can do is let America’s university system implode before burying its remains in an unmarked grave as unceremoniously as it deserves. It is certainly true that no cretin who stigmatizes others for the color of their skin deserves the lingering respect attached to the title of “professor.” No wonder college campuses have become breeding grounds for violent extremism.
As for the student jihadists who spend so much of their time in school threatening other students, I’d send them all packing. If these totalitarian tots had any principles more substantial than their narcissistic need to take virtue-signaling selfies, they’d ditch Club College for some real world experience in a land that is more hospitable to their anti-American fervor. I hear Iran is offering full scholarships for vocal Jew-haters these days. Hop to, boys and girls — er, I mean, genderless molecular compounds compelled by deterministic, cosmological forces devoid of moral conscience or free will — now’s your chance to get an anti-imperialist education from the best “Death to America” faculty on the planet. Just remember, though, when you disobey the mullahs, you don’t get expelled; you get publicly hanged. Best to contemplate that troublesome fact before explaining to the rest of the class that you’re pansexual, have unique pronouns, and require a “safe space.” Theocratic regimes aren’t real big on individuals living “their truth.” Don’t get me wrong. Iran is definitely pro-choice: there’s the mullah’s way or violent death — you get to choose. But hey, at least before you’re beheaded or set on fire for speaking out of turn or showing too much ankle, you won’t have to worry about that awful Western patriarchy, amirite?